i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
