yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Randomize
