I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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