Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
