I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
