there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
