no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
