somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This is my gift to your gina
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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