sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I checked into jail on foursquare
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
