Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
