What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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