So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
