he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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