What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
