I cockslap morals
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
