I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize