I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
