this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
