i think i have herpe
just one?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
