just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize