butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
