Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
