I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
