Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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