ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
