My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
