is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
