let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize