I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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