I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
