remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
