i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
