he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
