please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
