no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
