i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
