I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
