I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
