He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
