Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
