dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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