Pappa wants mamma naked
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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