To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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