we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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