Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
