I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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