we made out on top of his cat.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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