how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
