where does the pee come out of this thing
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
