Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
