he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
