New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
