just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
