please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
