jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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