You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
