you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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