JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
