Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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