i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
whose parrot is this?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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