After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
