I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
