Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
