What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Can Purell be used as lube?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
well most of my day revolves around power hour
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
