The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
