We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
