Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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