I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
