i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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