She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
