Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
