Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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