i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
