What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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