so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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