okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
