I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's never too late to be topless.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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