I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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