I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
