I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize