I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
