Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
